The talking to a brick wall stage.

Seems my nearly 2 year old is rapidly developing those essential skills he will need later on in life. Currently, it seems he is working on selective hearing, advanced level. Which is just fantastic. How’d you sort this one out Super Nanny?

So, the terror will be doing something I don’t want him doing, perhaps the toddler favourite of emptying a full packet of wipes in lightening speed, opening jaffa cakes at 8am (no cheeky! They weren’t already open! He’d managed to get though the box and plastic packaging!), emptying the freezer, or karate chopping the cat, he’s got so many party tricks. “No thank you!” Is always the first thing out of my mouth, no reaction from him at all. “I said no!” Come on, where have I put my strict mummy voice? Not even a flinch from the tiny terror. Super Nanny says get down to their level and give them a warning, but hold on, I’m invisible apparently! I think he’s looking directly into the deep dark depths of my soul, he’s probably already learnt that trick where you look at someone’s left eyebrow or right nostril to fake eye contact; he’s  telepathically telling me “bring it bitch!”. But this intervention does not stop his behaviour, oh no! That would be far too easy!
Do you threaten the naughty step next? By naughty step I mean behind the sofa, steps are way too much fun to be punishment apparently. Next is the bit where he asks you if he can continue with what he’s doing by nodding asking “yeah?”. Noooooo! No! No! No!

That’s when you think he’s doing this on purpose. He knows what he’s doing. Although I’m super glad this behaviour isn’t reserved specially for mummy. I picked him up from nursery and they commented that the monster might have hearing issues; they explained he would just stare expressionless at them while they asked him a question, no reaction or anything, then he’d just turn around and walk off! Normally stating “brum brum! Cars” or “drawin’ dinos” or “biscuit”. It did make me chuckle, and rather relieved that it’s not just me he chooses to purposely ignore.

So that’s passing the blame and selective hearing nailed. What next? I’d just like to take this opportunity to say sorry future partner of monster child!

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