We’ve all been there, grizzly baby in a public place, mummy frantically bobbing baby up and down “shhhh!” whilst uncontrollably muttering every swear word known to man in her head. Is there an etiquette to asking to hold some strangers baby? There’s obviously correct times and places right? Or is this just a massive weird no-no?
There’s that awkward moment when you see a mum in a coffee shop trying to balance a screaming blanket bundle on her jiggling knee, shovelling forkfulls of food into her embarrassed face because she’s not eaten for days. Dare i say it.. surely that would be ok to suggest a quick cuddle?
Prime opportunity at work, baby just been attacked with needles, mummy all flustered that she doesn’t have 3 sets of hands trying to pack away belongings, jiggle baby and leave the building asap! I’m not the one jabbing the baby so that would be ok wouldn’t it? No! People just want to get the hell out!
Am I being overly greedy (I think it’s called being broody!) when I’ve already got my own monster to cuddle? I remember when he used to throw a wobbly and I’d do the jiggle dance. Sometimes reluctantly had him over to someone who suggested they would “have a go” and immediately get the physical withdrawal symptoms. Sweating, hot limbs, unable to stay still subconsciously inching towards him ready to snatch him back! And that was just with family members!
I’m not saying I can stop the crying, I’m definitely not super nanny in disguise! Some days I can barely look after my own. It’s just the draw of a squishy newborn! Oh man! Someone do something, I’m broody!
I’ve only successfully managed to hold someone random persons baby after offering my services – please note I have only offered once, it’s not something I do daily!
Mother and baby swimming lessons in a communal changing room (yeah loads of new mums want to wrestle their new babies in and out of wetsuits, paranoid about dropping them! Changing under towels like PE lessons back in the day!). My monster was strapped into his carseat happily trying to rip the tentacles off captain calamari, out of the corner of my eye a mummy wrapped in a towel trying to keep bottle balanced in baby’s mouth with her foot and reach her bra from the other side with her finger tips. I’d never seen such relief to have baby bottle fed by a stranger!
Is it weird? Helpful? I’m so confused! I’m the kind of person who would open a door for the little old lady for them to stand on my foot and curse at me, not a sweet gummy ‘thank you’ on their way through. Don’t get me started that’s a whole new blog post!
Just have another baby everyone says, only if the immaculate conception is readily available, oh and not being pregnant, sleepless nights, sore nippers. Ok solution found: I need to make new pregnant friends asap!