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Bog off anxiety!

Let me set the scene: it’s the weekend before one of your besties hen do, and you need to go to town to get tinted moisturiser. Emergency! I’m as white and fluffy as a marshmallow – fake tan always fixes things doesn’t it? (I wouldn’t know this will be my first time using it. Pray for me.) Monster child is happily toddling alongside you gigantic sausage roll wedged in his mouth, this is my moment, breeze in and out of Boots before the sausage roll is discarded.

*warning contains bad language* (geordie shore style warning!)

All you ladies know what it’s like going into a store like Boots, you go in for one thing come out with a bag full. Berccoa, yes hangover cures will definitely be required, holy shit! £9 for a tube of fizzy tablets! Bugger that, I’m sure there’s some dioralyte in the medicine cupboard. Foundation – other side of the store, what’s the cheapest that i can grab quickly but still looks like it will do the job? Right, tinted moisturiser – I’ve been recommended one so I’m scanning the shelves and putting back all the bottles of stretch mark cream the toddler is building a tower with. *Ah shit, everyone wants to look for tinted moisturiser at the same time as me!* Rein in the toddler by sweeping the tower closer to the push chair with your foot as several ‘fake tan experts’ swoop in, reaching infront of me “excuse me” coming from every angle. I can feel my heart is pounding, I wedge the monster between my leg and the push chair. “Not much room in down here” a really clever Boots assistant says walking past – yeah thanks I’m stuck in the middle of the isle, I swear the whole town wants fucking tinted moisturiser!
If I wanna get out I’ve gotta find what I’ve come for, scan shelves, commence sweating, I can’t find it, I’ve looked over the shelves at least 20 times now; ah monster has found the one and placed his sausage roll in its gap! Crouch down to look at the price and some fucking bint is holding her basket over my head whilst looking at the shelf above me! By this time I’m really hot, heart is going nuts, sweating like mad, I’ve dropped my (spray can??) moisturiser, my fists have clenched – perfect timing for someone else to kick the pram into me. GET ME OUT! NOW! OUT OUT OUT!!!!!!! I stand up smacking my head on this stupid woman’s basket, she doesn’t even look at me, abandon pram in isle and rush off down the incontinence isle which is thankfully empty. I’m suprised at my self that I’m not on slumped on the floor bawling my eyes out – couple minutes later I’ve calmed down enough to think “shit where’s the child?”
“Mummeeeee Thomas toofbrusss!” Ah there he is, waving the massive electric toothbrush box at me with Daddy and pushchair in tow. Thank fuck, I’m out of Boots quicker than Usain Bolt and into the fresh air and the other half has gone to get my moisturiser. We then have to leave town, tunnel vision marching to the car, I can’t cope, need to shut myself in my bedroom for an hour and come back down to earth.

Anxiety is a bitch, I’m glad I don’t get it just walking through town any more; it ruins your confidence, self esteem and your day. I’m shattered. I’m scared for next weekend, though I know I’ll be ok, the excitement has gone for today.

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13 thoughts on “Bog off anxiety!

  1. urgh i feel your pain. i suffer anxiety too but purely related to “will i be sick”. it creeps up often though and especially shopping and if its busy. im sure next week will be ok. just remember you can leave at any time for some air and a time out:) #fortheloveofBLOG

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  2. Although you’ve written this with a dose of humour, I know what it’s like to suffer with anxiety attacks and I know you felt anything but funny at the time. Good on you for getting out and about knowing it can strike any time. With experience I can say that it can improve and you will probably get to a place where you forget about it for the most part. Wishing you the best of luck my dear and thanks so much for sharing with us on #fortheloveofBLOG x

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  3. Anxiety is a bloody bitch! I know those feelings you describe so so well, I hope you made it to your friends hen do. Sadly I didn’t when anxiety struck me in a very similar way seven weeks after having baby number three. Hope you have been able to take a bit if time to look after yourself and recover. X

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  4. Oh that sucks. I hope you enjoy the hen do. Anxiety is so difficult to live with, good on you for carrying on with your life and not letting it stop you. Don’t feel bad if you struggle at the hen do or need to take a bit of time for yourself. #triballove

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    1. Thanks for reading. hen was the weekend just gone, I had a whole night of building up to a panic attack, then calming down then building up and calming down. Got about 2 hours sleep! Long story short, had good time and was super duper hungover! #triballove

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  5. Anxiety is a silent bugger that I’d love to slap. I get it on group situations or when the attention is all on me and it’s horrible. Good on you for surviving I’m boots it’s always packed #stayclassymama

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  6. Another anxiety sufferer here today, its absolutely the pits. I’m not sure I know how to control it all except for avoiding situations I know will set it off. Thanks for sharing your story #stayclassymama

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  7. It’s never just one thing is it, it all has to mash together. The little acts of thoughtlessness that are so unnecessary.

    I used to feel like this but it has gotten better. The times it kicks in are exactly the same set of factors, exploring toddlers, crowds and being crowded.

    Hope you find what you need for easing the worst of it.

    #StayClassyMama

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  8. I bought some anxiety tablets from Boots this week and NC ripped into them and started eating them before I’d paid. Ironic or what. I’m not sure how any mother gets through the early years without feeling anxious … I’d like to meet one who hadn’t. Hope you’re ok today. #stayclassymama

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  9. I was shopping for make up a few weeks ago in the aforementioned pharmacy and I have to say it was quite claustrophobic. The wack on the head by someone’s basket is a classic and I can’t bear people leaning over/past me to reach things! Hope you enjoyed the hen doo in the end. #stayclassymama

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  10. What an amazing post, you’ve turned a quite serious topic into a funny anecdote. Love reading your posts and the Geordie shoreness of it ; ). Can only imagine what this must feel like, but we must stay tan right!! Haha I used to get spray tans and then realised that I was putting too much on and I was orange and had to stop lol. Thank you for the laugh and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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