Hayfever sucks!

I hate summer. One thing ruins about 7 months of the year for me, every year guaranteed. Hayfever, pollen is a right bitch. I’ve been a long term sufferer. My sister tells me I’m the reason why summer was ruined for her with endless trips to the beach (poor her!), inland breeze doesn’t carry pollen. Having to have a car with aircon, never allowed to have the windows down! The inhalers I had to carry because my hayfever was so bad it would trigger asthma symptoms. No grass fights, or running through meadows, riding horses, camping – all essentials growing up in the countryside.

I’m do get a bit sarcastic when people tell me they suffer too “oh I get hayfever too, I sniffle and sometimes sneeze!” Oh boo frickin’ hoo! I’d love to have hayfever like that, please swap with me? I’m doing my bit for hayfever awareness (is that even a thing? Can we make it a thing? Start a hayfever research charity?). Here’s what it’s like…

I’ve tried every tablet going, I think the world of doctors have given up on me. Have you tried over the counter tablets, eye drops and nasal spray? I’ve had this for at least 20 years, of course I have you doughnut! I’ve even been referred to make believe departments in the hospital I worked in, that was an amusing conversation with a locum GP – ‘I’m going to refer you to immunology at the local hospital’…’well you can’t it doesn’t exist’…’yes it does, I’ll to the letter now.’ – Along with referral come an apology letter stating the department doesn’t exist. Told you so!

For people that suffer so bad it is impossible. I’ve been sent home from work before, as my eyes are nearly swollen shut and I’m barely functioning. That’s with prescription antihistamines! It’s unrealistic to shower constantly through out the day too get rid of the pollen attached to your skin and hair. Sometimes showering makes your nose so itchy! I’ve taken so many ‘non drowsy’ antihistamines it’s made me too lethargic to do anything at all, there’s only so many eye drops and nasal sprays you can hack till you attempt to plug your nose. As you can tell it’s grumpy.

Then a few years ago I saw a really lovely GP, who actually listened to how it was affecting my life and I guess felt sorry for me. So he decided I had tried everything available, time for the steroid injections “we don’t like to normally use this for hayfever”. My first one was amazing. A week or two later I could drive with the window down! Hallelujah I’m cured!

Every time I book I for my steroid injection the GP I’m seeing wants to go through the list of failed tablets, like it’s gonna change the outcome! 4 years on and now the steroids don’t work – I think I must have the most over reactive immune system ever!

So here I am, sat inside on a sunny day, sweltering with all the windows shut, sunglasses on, hair tied back, sprays, drops and tissues next to me. Dosed up on antihistamines despite the steroid injection 2 months ago. Feeling shitty and grumpy and Bleugh.

Itchy eyes:
Shitting hell. My eyes are burning and I need a straight jacket to stop itching them, I keep flushing them out with drops or water. They are red and swollen and I have blurry vision. The lining of my eyeballs have blistered. Not sure if the glasses are to save me or save the people around me from the horrendous sight that is my face! Links in with irritability, itchy eyes, hayfever fog and general itching.

Sniffling/runny nose:
I have a tissue burned nose. If I don’t have a tissue within reach my nose drips like a tap in full flow. Links in with irritability.

Hayfever fog:
Not quite sure what you are doing, what you came into the room for. Feeling half asleep and like the only thing you can manage is to sit in one position: reclined on the sofa, gormless expression on your face aimed at the tv but not actually hearing or understanding what’s going on…probably like a newborn in front of cbeebies. Huh? What? Who am I?

Irritability:
Don’t even talk to me! Think of PMT but without the desire to stuff face with anything described as chocolate. My clothes are annoying me, my face is annoying me, the person who just walked past my window is annoying me. Fuck you pollen! Argh! Rage!

Fatigue/lethergy:
Also see hayfever fog.
Feeling like you need a caffeine drip, but you know it won’t lift the sleepy blanket over you. Your eyes need matchsticks but you actually slept last night so it makes no sense. You feel weak and useless – a bit like the flu symptom but you feel like you could snap out of it, but you just can’t shake it off – everything is an effort. Links in with irritability.

Slight deafness:
Cotton wool in your ears? Nope. Just feels like even your inner ear is swollen due to the bastarding pollen. Links in with hayfever fog.

General itching:
My face is itchy, I’m sporting a Croydon facelift with multiple hair grips holding back andl stray hairs that might tickle my face. Itchy legs, arms, back, hands, neck, stomach, back if the throat, nostrils, tounge so on and so forth. Links in with irritability.

Breathlessness:
I’ve had to stop running, feels like your breathing in air that’s as thick as soup. It’s bad enough trying to keep up with the monster child who’s discovered speed on his birthday scoo-pop (scooter!).

Neglecting the cat:
Sod of you pollen carrying fluff monster! No you are not coming anywhere near me! In fact you are now an outside cat – you made your choice!

Thanks for reading my moan. I hate hayfever. I need to move abroad by the sea, wonder if I can get that on prescription for £8.20?